thnks fr th mmrs!

Music: "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs"-Fallout Boy

We were hoping you'd all be dead from AIDS but since you're not, we have to update. Woe is us.

The fatfuck in the 5x red shirt in the picture with the pointy, lactating titties is Eric Pifer, a troll obsessed with Donnie Marsh and the Hubforums.com.

-GOAT PARDON-

This is our first "GOAT! Pardon". It is, of course, similar to a presidential pardon. A couple weeks ago, a couple goats (one in particular) were goating-out a dude in the Erie room on behalf of a "friend". It turns out that the "friend" the Goats were defending, was actually talking amiably to this person on AIM, all the while feeding the Goats information to use against the person. Sounds psychotic? Yep.
Through a couple Goat-connections, it was discovered that the person getting jumped was actually a very decent person and the "friend" turned out to be a genuine Code Red. (Complete, fucking stalkerish-psycho.)
So this pardon, and "apology" as it is, goes out to Gary. (AWorldTouched on gay.com). We think you're alright. ;)
Oh and the psycho? He be here.

-TROLL SPOTLIGHT: Brat42069-

There are 13 signs to show someone is a troll. (Well, there are far more, but this lengthy conversation will highlight some of the essentials.) The conversation started after the bars let out and someone brought up sex-parties. Brat42069 took it upon herself (yes, "her") to say that anyone involved in sex-parties has no self-respect.
(1) They are self-righteous to an extreme. Trolls seem to possess an almost God-like ego to which they feel far superior to others and have the right to judge others. Of course, the Goats do this too but let's face it, we are better.

(2) Common stall-tactic #1: "Whatever." They will type this until Eric Pifer's waistline drops down to 30. (As in, will never happen.)

(3) They are often over the age of 18 and simply cannot or won't grasp the essentials of the English language. Oftentimes their grammar and spelling is so horrid, there needs to a Troll-English interpreter present.

(4) Trolls often use things like, "You're gross" in one instance as a stall-tactic and in another to signify that no matter what your level of hotness, you are simply "gross" because you're kicking the fuck out of them in chat and they cannot keep up.

(5) Of course, if you are getting laid and they aren't (what a surprise!), you are "nasty" and will catch tons of STD's even if you are careful.

(6) They ab.so.lute.ly refuse to acknowledge how hideous they are and will commonly use, "I am far from ugly."

(7) Their comebacks are akin to, "I know you are, but what am I?"

(8) A common useless insult-attempt they use is, "Get a job" or "Get a real job." Simply put: To them, a person who is able to kick them back to their bridge cannot have a good job. Read: They are losing the online battle and must come up with stupid shit to comeback with.

(9) Trolls will often be silent for periods of time while in the middle of battle. When they "return", they will often say things like, "I'm on the phone" or "I was on the phone." Of course, the Troll will always claim it is someone from the chatroom on the phone with them slamming the winner of the fight but if you call the Troll out on who it is, they will refuse to tell you and the "person" will (obviously) not speak up in chat. Hence, they're lying.

(10) Everyone else, but the Troll, needs to "Get a life." They are quick to point out everyone who is in the chatroom but cannot see that they, themselves, are in the same chatroom and shouldn't be pointing fingers.

(11) The Troll will often make outrageous claims such as: "I can beat your ass", "I have a bigger dick than you", "I'm a millionaire and I don't need any of you" etc.

(12) When the Troll finally realizes they have lost the battle, they will completely self-destruct all the while believing they still have admirers left in the room. Think of this as someone with Tourette's who goes off the deep-end. This is characterized by complete, off-the-wall rantings and more often than not, scrolling in the room.

(13) This one sort of ties into #1. When the Troll has had his ass kicked and it is a new day, they will often lament on how "childish" the attacker was. Cry us a fucking river.

Here's the lengthy-conversation. Kaneboi2's remarks have been omitted due to him trying to appear wholesome while having an ad on 2 sex sites. Most of eriejosh32's comments have been omitted because the lunatic was shouting out that he found the LORD and crazy, irrelevant, shit like that.

4/5/08 3:28 AM : {Brat42069} thats why I won't bother with most of the ppl around erie
4/5/08 3:28 AM : {Brat42069} disgusting sluts\
4/5/08 3:28 AM : {phn7164071887} well if thay wear protection then there is nothing to worry about really
4/5/08 3:28 AM : {Brat42069} oh yes there is
4/5/08 3:29 AM : {phn7164071887} well atleast the ones who do are showing some responsability and have a reduced chance of contracting something
4/5/08 3:30 AM : {Brat42069} Yeah maybe , but any self respecting person wouldn't be there to begin with
4/5/08 3:30 AM : {goodthing} well- how thoughtful of you
4/5/08 3:31 AM : {phn7164071887} hey everyone has their fetishes and areas of interest
4/5/08 3:31 AM : {Brat42069} thats right kane
4/5/08 3:32 AM : {phn7164071887} rwell if you go into a venture of this nature and are impaired then thats not being responsable
4/5/08 3:33 AM : {phn7164071887} what about the ones that are voyureistic and are just there to watch but not particapate?
4/5/08 3:33 AM : {Brat42069} nope
4/5/08 3:34 AM : {Brat42069} still skanky
4/5/08 3:35 AM : {goodthing} no
4/5/08 3:36 AM : {goodthing} the lonely ones sit home and bitch and judge others-lol
4/5/08 3:39 AM : {phn7164071887} BAR = Breaks All Relationships!
4/5/08 3:40 AM : {Brat42069} nothings wrong with going to a bar, but if you go to the "sex parties" afterward, that dioesn't speak well for ones character
4/5/08 3:40 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Says who?
4/5/08 3:40 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Some of us like to fuck.
4/5/08 3:40 AM : {Brat42069} me
4/5/08 3:40 AM : {Brat42069} wanna fuck someone, heres an idea, get a bf
4/5/08 3:41 AM : {phn7164071887} easy said then done
4/5/08 3:41 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Just because you're all self-righteous doesn't mean the rest of us have no morals.
4/5/08 3:41 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I happen to like random, anonymous fucking.
4/5/08 3:41 AM : {Brat42069} or in the alternative, take someone home, use proctection fine...but sex partiers?!!?!? ...please
4/5/08 3:41 AM : {Brat42069} you would
4/5/08 3:41 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} And you're just assuming no one wears protection at sex-parties.
4/5/08 3:42 AM : {Brat42069} no I'm not...but sleeping with multiple people at one time...come on...have some self respect
4/5/08 3:42 AM : {Brat42069} protection or no
4/5/08 3:42 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} So if I have an orgy, I have no self-respect?
4/5/08 3:43 AM : {Brat42069} pretty much yeah..but thats just my opion....but hey...I like to look respectable
4/5/08 3:43 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} And why the fuck aren't the rest of you self-righteous quakers chiming in to help him? (Phn and Kaneboi)
4/5/08 3:43 AM : {Brat42069} to each their own I suppose
4/5/08 3:44 AM : {Brat42069} because my points are true and and no one needs to help me. anyone with a self respecting brain could see that
4/5/08 3:44 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Meanwhile, Kaneboi is on nearly every sex site.
4/5/08 3:44 AM : {Brat42069} sorry your a slut, but hey, not judging...just being honest
4/5/08 3:44 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You have issues.
4/5/08 3:44 AM : {Brat42069} hardly
4/5/08 3:44 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} No. You do.
4/5/08 3:44 AM : {phn7164071887} sorry i had to restart the washer i have chimed in i dont think there is anything grong with a group meeting as long as you use protection
4/5/08 3:44 AM : {Brat42069} lol ok
4/5/08 3:44 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Listen to yourself.
4/5/08 3:45 AM : {phn7164071887} thats the bottom line
4/5/08 3:45 AM : {Brat42069} thats why I don't go to sex parties
4/5/08 3:45 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Thanks Phn.
4/5/08 3:45 AM : {Brat42069} sorry I see it more that anyone who does has issues
4/5/08 3:45 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} But.
4/5/08 3:45 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You don't have any SELF-RESPECTWTFOMGBBQ!!!!11111
4/5/08 3:45 AM : {phn7164071887} i my self have never been to a group party becouse i have no interest but i wont judge another whos attends
4/5/08 3:45 AM : {Brat42069} lo ok whatever
4/5/08 3:45 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I am a very successful slut.
4/5/08 3:46 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I don't need to "appear" respectable.
4/5/08 3:46 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I command respect.
4/5/08 3:46 AM : {Brat42069} yeah exactly..SLUT...nothing respectable about that
4/5/08 3:46 AM : {Brat42069} sorr
4/5/08 3:46 AM : {Brat42069} your body should be copnsidered atemple...not a playground for every nasty thing to crawl on
4/5/08 3:46 AM : {Cuddleboie} bitch demands an ass on his dick
4/5/08 3:46 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Do you think my boss and subordinates know or even care I fuck 10 people a week often in groups of 3 or more?
4/5/08 3:47 AM : {Brat42069} no nor would they care to cuz...eeew
4/5/08 3:47 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Exactly.
4/5/08 3:47 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} If you were hot, you'd probably be having all kinds of sex.
4/5/08 3:47 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Instead, you sit online and complain.
4/5/08 3:47 AM : {Brat42069} exactly, you're gross...next question
4/5/08 3:48 AM : {phn7164071887} most people dont plan a child i would love to have a poll taken to see how manny children are make with booze involved
4/5/08 3:48 AM : {Brat42069} I get hit on all the time..!!! lol I just don;t have to fuck everything that does hit one me...lol
4/5/08 3:48 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} *on me
4/5/08 3:48 AM : {goodthing} who is hitting on you?
4/5/08 3:48 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Good thing they're not into people who use correct grammar.
4/5/08 3:48 AM : {Novus2004} i molest little boys!
4/5/08 3:48 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} LOL@goodthing.
4/5/08 3:48 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I'd like to know too.
4/5/08 3:49 AM : {goodthing} lol
4/5/08 3:49 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Exclude NATEDOGG2007.
4/5/08 3:49 AM : {Brat42069} lol whatever..you can critique me all you want on my typing...still doesn't constitute the fact that you're nasty
4/5/08 3:49 AM : {theeman8866} i have stretchmarks on mah titties!
4/5/08 3:49 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I'm nasty because I've managed to put away nearly 400 people and remain disease free?
4/5/08 3:49 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You go on honey and do you'thang.
4/5/08 3:50 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Kane, that has nothing to do with your sex ads or this conversation.
4/5/08 3:50 AM : {Brat42069} yeah!!! lol 400 people...thats something to really be proud of! Spread your legs some more you nasty freak
4/5/08 3:50 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} But you may continue to fish for bullets.
4/5/08 3:50 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I'll spread your legs.
4/5/08 3:50 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I haven't fucked anyone ugly this month.
4/5/08 3:50 AM : {Brat42069} lmao...don't you wish
4/5/08 3:50 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You can be the first.
4/5/08 3:50 AM : {Brat42069} lol ok...
4/5/08 3:50 AM : {Brat42069} maybe in your wet dreams
4/5/08 3:51 AM : {Brat42069} and sorry sweetie but I'm far from ugly
4/5/08 3:51 AM : {goodthing} lol @ bitch
4/5/08 3:51 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} No. I'd have to bottom for you even though I'm versatile. I couldn't stay hard enough to fuck you unless you put your face in a pillow and I DIDN'T see you AT ALL prior to fucking you.
4/5/08 3:51 AM : {Brat42069} and even if I am..at least I have enough balls to show a pic and prove it...wheres yours...oh wait, your to much of a dog to show yourself...so who you gonna judge now?
4/5/08 3:52 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You really SHOULDN'T show yours at all.
4/5/08 3:52 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} It kills my fucking sex drive.
4/5/08 3:52 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} And my appetite.
4/5/08 3:52 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You even talk and speak as stupid as you look.
4/5/08 3:53 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Sad. Sad. Sad.
4/5/08 3:53 AM : {Brat42069} why not??? at leas tI can be prpoud of who I am instead of waking up, looking in the mirror and wanting to puke everyday because of the coyote ugly situation I put someone else in
4/5/08 3:53 AM : {eriejosh32} Left (thank god)
4/5/08 3:53 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} But. You do put others in it.
4/5/08 3:53 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} And your mom telling you you're cute doesn't count.
4/5/08 3:54 AM : {Brat42069} lol hardly, remember, I'm not the slut here
4/5/08 3:54 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} goodthing is a bigger ho than I and even he doesn't want you.
4/5/08 3:54 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} That means you're fugged.
4/5/08 3:54 AM : {Brat42069} I bet you do have diseases, thats why you won't show a pic of yourself...to many little sores all over your nasty cum guzzling gutter slut face
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Oh who didn't see that one coming?
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Stupid and predictable.
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Brat42069} lol I don;t care if that OLD MAN wants me...as if!!!!
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} As if?
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Brat42069} Talk about a whole bunch of yuck!
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Oh.
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Shit.
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Hold on.
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} 1994 just called.
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} They want "as if" back.
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Brat42069} oh please...
4/5/08 3:55 AM : {Brat42069} oh ok..just like 2003 wants punkd back
4/5/08 3:56 AM : {Brat42069} lol get a life you freak
4/5/08 3:56 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} It's not as tired as "as if."
4/5/08 3:56 AM : {Brat42069} stop being a hooker and get a real job
4/5/08 3:56 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You're the one in a gay.com chatroom lecturing people about safe sex.
4/5/08 3:56 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Oh. Of course, ad hominem.
4/5/08 3:56 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Here we go.
4/5/08 3:56 AM : {Brat42069} yeah exactly...CHAT ROOM not SEX LINE
4/5/08 3:56 AM : {kaneboi2} i have AIDS.
4/5/08 3:56 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I can't POSSIBLY be successful as a ho.
4/5/08 3:57 AM : {Brat42069} right because hookers a re cheaper
4/5/08 3:57 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I simply *must* be an escort.
4/5/08 3:57 AM : {Brat42069} you oughta know
4/5/08 3:57 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I have a real job.
4/5/08 3:57 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} A damn good one.
4/5/08 3:57 AM : {Brat42069} prostituting doesn't count
4/5/08 3:57 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You're right.
4/5/08 3:57 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} So tell that to someone who does it.
4/5/08 3:57 AM : {Brat42069} like.....you???
4/5/08 3:58 AM : {goodthing} this isnt a chat room- this is a sex hook up room
4/5/08 3:58 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Why is it you believe I'm a prostitute?
4/5/08 3:58 AM : {Brat42069} you pretty much claimed to be one 15 minutes ago...waht else am I to believe
4/5/08 3:58 AM : {Brat42069} ???
4/5/08 3:58 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} It couldn't be because you're losing against me with things like "as if" and "you're nasty".
4/5/08 3:58 AM : {Brat42069} lol whatever
4/5/08 3:58 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} So now we pull the "you don't have a job or a life."
4/5/08 3:58 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Come on. Do better.
4/5/08 3:58 AM : {Brat42069} My phrases have nothing to d owith the afct your nasty and gross...sorry
4/5/08 3:59 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Oh. We pulled "whatever."
4/5/08 3:59 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Amazing stall tactic.
4/5/08 3:59 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Afct/
4/5/08 3:59 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} ?
4/5/08 3:59 AM : {goodthing} if this is a chat room then why are you naked in your pics?
4/5/08 3:59 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You in that much of a hurry to try and one-up me you can't pay attention to detail?
4/5/08 3:59 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Is she naked in her pics, goodthing?
4/5/08 3:59 AM : {Brat42069} who says I am?
4/5/08 3:59 AM : {Brat42069} hardly...I'm on the phone
4/5/08 3:59 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} OH!
4/5/08 4:00 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} The PHONE.
4/5/08 4:00 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} More excuses.
4/5/08 4:00 AM : {goodthing} pic number 6
4/5/08 4:00 AM : {Brat42069} yeah..with someone in the room
4/5/08 4:00 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Just admit it. Type, "Listen im really dumb ok and i need to win this fight."
4/5/08 4:00 AM : {goodthing} lol
4/5/08 4:00 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Well tell them to back you up!
4/5/08 4:00 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You're losing miserably!
4/5/08 4:01 AM : {kaneboi2} Left (thank god)
4/5/08 4:01 AM : {Brat42069} Like I care?!!?!
4/5/08 4:01 AM : {Brat42069} This isn't a compition you dumb fuck
4/5/08 4:01 AM : {Brat42069} lol
4/5/08 4:01 AM : {goodthing} i dont see a phone in your hand in pic number 6
4/5/08 4:01 AM : {Brat42069} it's more like entertainment
4/5/08 4:01 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Sure as hell isn't a spelling-bee either.
4/5/08 4:01 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} "compEtition."
4/5/08 4:01 AM : {goodthing} looks like you are naked to me
4/5/08 4:02 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Thank god I canceled the paid membership.
4/5/08 4:02 AM : {Brat42069} Probably because I wan't on one when I took it you douche....lol
4/5/08 4:02 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I'd be tempted to look at that trainwreck.
4/5/08 4:02 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} You mean "WASN'T"?
4/5/08 4:02 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} GodDAMN you're stupid.
4/5/08 4:02 AM : {goodthing} this is fun
4/5/08 4:02 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} To the person he's chatting on the phone with: Does he talk as stupid as he types?
4/5/08 4:03 AM : {Brat42069} lol ok..thats why I go to sex parties and try and contract STDS...right...I'm the stupid one...cuz I hate to inform you but condoms don't protect you against everything
4/5/08 4:03 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Oh.
4/5/08 4:03 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} I see.
4/5/08 4:03 AM : {Brat42069} do herpes ring a bell???
4/5/08 4:03 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} So now your logic is telling me and the rest of the room that the POINT of going to sex-parties is to CONTRACT STD's?
4/5/08 4:04 AM : {Brat42069} or how about crabs??
4/5/08 4:04 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Is this what I am reading?
4/5/08 4:04 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Crabs=not STD.
4/5/08 4:04 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Please clarify.
4/5/08 4:04 AM : {Brat42069} close enough
4/5/08 4:04 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Explain--> lol ok..thats why I go to sex parties and try and contract STDS...right...I'm the stupid one...cuz I hate to inform you but condoms don't protect you against everything
4/5/08 4:04 AM : {goodthing} an un-educated person sits at home online and judges others
4/5/08 4:05 AM : {Brat42069} might as well try, anyone who attends one of those is bound to get an STD at one poinbt or another...just a matter of time...
4/5/08 4:05 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} That makes no sense either.
4/5/08 4:05 AM : * Bitch__Got__Punkd isn't surprised.
4/5/08 4:05 AM : {Brat42069} no matter how big or small of one...still gonna happen
4/5/08 4:06 AM : {goodthing} so 10 years of wearing a condom is going to give you an STD eventually?
4/5/08 4:06 AM : {goodthing} you make no sense
4/5/08 4:06 AM : {Brat42069} condoms don;t protect you from everything...
4/5/08 4:06 AM : {Brat42069} sorry
4/5/08 4:07 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Well you used herpes as an example.
4/5/08 4:07 AM : {Brat42069} and like I said, hey if you guys wanna be sleezy go for it...not my problem...
4/5/08 4:07 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} They protect against herpes.
4/5/08 4:07 AM : {Brat42069} yeah not if you have herpes on your face and someone rims you
4/5/08 4:07 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} LMFAO
4/5/08 4:07 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} God you just keep getting dumber.
4/5/08 4:07 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} We have a live one folks!
4/5/08 4:07 AM : {goodthing} im saying- dont judge everyone because you sit at home alone
4/5/08 4:08 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Thank you, Goodthing.
4/5/08 4:08 AM : {Brat42069} whatever
4/5/08 4:08 AM : {goodthing} go out- live life- have fun- be carefull
4/5/08 4:08 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} The "whatever" card AGAIN!?
4/5/08 4:08 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Goat have mercy.
4/5/08 4:08 AM : {goodthing} lol
4/5/08 4:09 AM : {Brat42069} you people need to get lives...instead of worrying about how sleezy you can be on a daily basis
4/5/08 4:09 AM : {goodthing} you are the one judging others
4/5/08 4:09 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} Says one who can be found in the same chatroom.
4/5/08 4:09 AM : {Brat42069} exactly CHAT
4/5/08 4:09 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} And with that, it's game over. He can't possibly make a comeback and look intelligent.
4/5/08 4:09 AM : {goodthing} this is gay .com- not bible study
4/5/08 4:09 AM : {Brat42069} thats wha tI'm here for...NOT SEX
4/5/08 4:10 AM : {Bitch__Got__Punkd} And picture #6 says "NOT SEX"

king solomon's mines. exit 75. i'm still alive. i'm still alive. i'm still alive.

Music: "Hotel (Cleveland, Ohio 2007)"-Tori Amos
Music: "Supernatural"-Madonna

How do you piss a bunch of trolls off? How do you keep trolls on their toes? How do you keep Eric Pifer (theeman8866 on gay.com) logged in as D_D_M and farfromhomo (both on gay.com) with impersonation blogs going crazy in anticipation? How do you get said trolls to create bogus facebook and myspace accounts to send threats to people they believe write the blog?

Simple.

Just don't update the blog when you say you're going to and instead, have dinner parties where you log onto gay.com and laugh at the desperation of those unknowing.
Oh. And no. We will not "delete_the_blog."

To be continued...

It's Colder Than It Looks Outside

Music: "Pinch Me"-Barenaked Ladies

Ok. Due to funerals and trips to Vegas and all the bareback sex any fag could want, we've been away. (We're also prepping for our forthcoming, extremely offensive, radio show. (More on that in future entries.))
Anyhow, getting down to business...

-IMPORTANT-

While we at Goat! International do not believe in censoring our readers, we've had to recently delete comments made on the blog. Yes, yes, we know. There were racial comments as well as people posting someone's real name. However, when commenting on the blog, you need to keep this in mind: DO NOT under ANY circumstances censor yourself. If you type "Nig*ers" instead of "NigGers", you will be deleted. If you can't bring yourself to type the fucking word "niggers," then you either need to get a game face or stop reading the blog altogether. We don't care if you comment on every entry ten times! We don't care if you put Donnie Marsh's name in it because let's face it, he's easily one of the meanest motherfuckers in America. But you will NOT do something douchey like putting asterisks "*" where important letters (like the missing G in NIGGERS) belongs. Capice?

-BLOG FREQUENCY NOTICE-

People. People. People. Stop bugging the authors if you know them. It's now formal policy that the blog will be updated EVERY MONDAY as *well* as every-other FRIDAY of the month. This will give you at least 6 blog-entries to sink your tongue into per month. (Which is far better than some asses in Youngstown because at least we wipe.)

-CONTESTS-

Stay tuned to the blog for some upcoming contests. Yes, you can win money! It may behoove you to pay attention to even the smallest details of the blog if you hope to win. You may also want to link us in your bioline http://gaydotcom.blogspot.com . You never know who is watching and what you may win!

-PUBLIC NOTICE-

Prepinohio (Brian), Lady_Delish666 wishes you to stop talking to him. He is not one of the author's of this blog and has no connection to it other than his comments posted in it. (Which he wouldn't make if you would quit your fucking stalking.) Further, everyone in the Akron/Canton area is well aware that you are the stalker who doesn't leave people alone. So. Um. Stop already. Mmkay?

-PEEKTURES!-

First, a couple of Barry (Novus2004):







***
The comics are too big for the blogger frames so you will need to click on them to open them up to full view. Yes, we did resize them but it was too hard to read them.

A comic featuring Papa Novus, the late Stephen Main, the gorgeous hybridMaverick and PoonDog!


***
A comic featuring the crazy Prepinohio (Brian), the lovely and sexy Lady_Delish666, the super-creepy dcswayofliving and AIDSPear!

:(

R.I.H. AIDSPear :(

We've been away mourning the loss of a dear friend, AIDSPear. She was loved by everyone:

danisnotstr8: I miss AIDSPear :(

cerebral_hedonist: AIDSPear was such an amazing person. I've never known anyone to have Teh* AIDS and keep their lesioned-head up in dignity like her. She'll forever be remembered.

aidsbanana: The best sister one could have.

Lucid_Confusion: who is AIDSPear?

not2good: i bet thi swill end up in htat fucking blog

LivLuvLifeErieDewd: I AM NOT CRAZY AND MY TEETH ARE STRAIT AND WHITE AND NOT YELLOW AND CEOOKED LIKE U GUYS KEP SAYING!

A brief history/obituary:

AIDSPear was born to Mr. Mike Hunt and Miss. Lickalotapuss on 21 June 1978 in the small town of Dover, Ohio. It didn't take long for her parents to throw her to the curb (literally) and she was taken in by the Hill family. At the ripe age of 12, she was caught getting railed by a nigger in Peggy Hill's bedroom while her foster-brother, Bobby, watched. On her own and down on her luck at 12, AIDSPear managed to save up enough money from being blown by Novus2004 in the back of his minivan to take a Greyhound bus out to LA. She tricked out and lived from couch to couch trying to get acting gigs. Unfortunately, after the many ventures to Novus2004's minivan, the lesions started to become more and more prominent. She was denied all roles she auditioned for.
At the age of 17, she applied for an internship at Goat! International. She started in the mail-room sorting through death-threat letters. We figured the bitch already has AIDS so who cares if she opens one and gets anthrax poisoning or blown to shit? She was soon promoted to head the Faggot Complaint Department here at Goat! International. Very few of her peers could cut a betch like she. When she sucked her last nigcock and took her last breath, her body was cremated and she wished for her ashes to be spread over African soil so she could send the message to the niggers to stop fucking and AIDS will be over. We did honour her wishes and traveled about spreading her ashes. However, we omitted to tell them the message because they deserve to die.

Until next time...

How you figure that your team can affect my crew?

Music: "No Time (For Fake Niggas)"-Lil' Kim

Due to the overwhelming number of questions that are already answered here, we encourage everyone to revisit this entry. Some codes have changed as well. In example, Code Yellow used to mean balding/bald persons but it's obvious their hairlines are running from their foreheads so a code for them is no longer necessary.

***

-FAN MAIL-

whatif311: I LOVE this blog thingy!

All of us here at Goat! International love you too, sexy.

coveted185: I enjoy the offbeat humor and bluntness of the blogspot.

Rock on.

LivLuvLifeErieDewd: do you guys think im hot with my perfect teeth?

Absolutely not.

madonnafan21: i don't have scabies anymore!

Good?

not2good: im not saying anything because it will just end up in that fucking blog.

Yep.

-CHAT ETIQUETTE-

While the word "etiquette" is typically reserved for polite behaviour, in this newly-created section of the blog entries, we're going to use it synonymously with "acceptable behaviour." We're providing this section as a service to you. Use the tips we provide so you look a little less inane.

Tip #01: The ignore feature. Let us blow the whistle on this one: very few people *actually* put someone on ignore when they say they're going to. When you use the ignore feature on someone, it eliminates anything they say in chat from your view, as well as prevents them from being able to private-chat with you.

Neat, eh? The key to making it effective is you actually need to use it and not pretend. If you pretend to put someone on ignore (like 98% of the people who claim to), you're bound to slip up and be outted in the room as someone who fake-iggy's (pretends to put someone on ignore.) The former American_Doll_Posse is very good at getting people to slip up and be outted in the chat. Noteworthy: Do not be like Theeman, our FAS case from last entry, and while pretending to have his two-favourite posters on ignore, keep bringing up the "fact" they're on ignore. This means don't keep asking someone who they're talking to and then being like, "Oh, I can't see them; they're on ignore." Over. And. Over. And. Over. again. No one is convinced, Sweaty. How this incorporates into our tip section is as follows: If you can't take the heat in the chatroom, simply log-off. If you're like Novus2004 and simply can't take the heat but don't want to actually leave the computer and miss anything, then do as he does; pretend to leave the computer. His card is, "I have better things to do. I'll see you all later." While Novus2004 is a bona fide Code Red, he's at least wise enough to not try the fake-iggy shit. Props to you!

Tip #02: Do not put in your bioline on gay.com that you're not looking for a hook-up while simultaneously being logged into manhunt looking for a few loads to be dumped in your gaping ass. You don't need to try to save face by acting like an innocent Quaker on gay.com.

Tip #03: In lieu of the ignore feature, some decide to log-out of gay.com but return with a different screen-name. This is effective *IF* you're smart enough to actually change your botguard question. Enough said.

Tip #04: If you absolutely must lie to make yourself sound more interesting, do your research to make yourself more believable. If 70% of the room either doesn't believe you OR can point out flaws in your lie, you need to start over and hopefully, research to do better in Round 2. Case in point: Steve Moyer (moyersteveo18) was in the Erie room a few days ago trying to tell everyone that he worked for Penn-DOT (Department of Transportation) and that he put in over 60 hours in three days. To make himself look even "smarter", he claimed that he had to be piss-tested three times a week. Superhuman Steve *even* made time to be online constantly *and* in the bars during those three days.

Dear Steve, it's not possible. DOT doesn't allow you to work 20-hours straight. DOT doesn't piss-test you three times a week either. It takes a bit of time to do the testing, and it's just not feasible to drug-test you that often. You're a beer-delivery boy. You don't work for DOT. You live with a fossil that touches your junk so you can have a place to live. Stop the lying.

***

-FASHION-

Listen. We get it. Not everyone can afford Prada. However, the world as a whole expects fags to be held to a higher fashion standard than the breeders. We've decided to include a discussion on fashion in the blog as yet another service to you.

This is a no-no.

Seriously. Fucking stop with these ridiculous hats. They were Salvation Army rejects in the 80's, and no one is looking for their return to vogue.

Click here if you're willing and can afford to go high-end.

Click here if you need fashion advice before you hit the bars looking for some bare cock.

Click here if you want to join LivLuvLifeErieDewd while she shops for clothes.

***

-TODAY'S TROLL-

WestSideRick is our troll for today. It doesn't matter what time of the day or night; when you hit the Cleveland West room, our troll WestSideRick (WSR) is at it, creeping out the hotties.

WSR: I want a poster size copy of your pic for my bedroom, PNutOH

Now, if that doesn't say "stalker", we don't know what does.

somethingreal75: hot guy was trying to pick me up

WSR: that's what happens when you're hot

Wow, Rick, you're just full of creep-style flattery! Too bad you're blind and can't see that somethingreal75 is really fugged-out.

WSR: I could never be friends with a personal trainer, he'd make me do things I'd hate him for

Like, put the goddamn bag of chips down?

Until next time...

I like the way you do that right thurr, right thurr!

Music: "Right Thurr"-Chingy



2:55 best emulates our feelings for the (now three) impersonation blogs.

We'll be back on Tuesday.

Ready? Set?

Music: "Out of Our Heads"- Sheryl Crow

There will invariably be someone with the Downsies who will read this and have no idea what is going on *because* he just couldn't be bothered to read the opening entry. Put the jump ropes down (no pun), and read it.

***

To begin, we have some fan mail in addition to the comments posted in the opening entry.

In response to a blurb posted on myspace about this here blog, David writes:

noone could be a more"code red" looser if they tried to even care about this new way of talking shit. if I logged onto a chat room and ANYBODY typed "code rainbow", I would hunt them down, cut off their head, and shit down their throat. I would like to thank you for educating me in this new bullshit tactic of recreating "Mean Girls," because for one, I don't entirely disapprove of the blog post, and for -B- some people should be branded with a warning label. However, If it where me, I would sue for slander. disclosing anybodies HIV status is slander. If you knew me, you would understand why I feel such hostility.

David,
Thank you for your post. It is clear you read the opening Q & A. We here at Goat! International hope you have made special note of the small grammar lesson we provided for you in the Q & A as you've decided to completely butcher the English language. You could argue later that you posted like a 4th-grade Downsy on purpose just to spite us, but we think you're just dumb.
As per the issue you have with Le Code Rainbow, you've got a lot of heads to chop ahead of you, because this particular code is the most frequently used. [sarcasm] (We don't understand this ourselves, as homosexuals are very wholesome and hardly any of them have HIV.) [/sarcasm]
It should further be noted that you need to rethink your "slander" suit. Slander is defined as: "The action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation." Do you see the problem(s) you'll run into with that? You probably don't, so Goat! International will spell it out for you. First, typing on the internet isn't "spoken." Hence, if a betch is in gay.com typing, "CODE RAINBOW!" to everyone who comes in or leaves, it still doesn't qualify as being "spoken." Second, the words spoken need to be false. If you think any of these cumdumps who are coded "Rainbow" are willing to take an HIV-test to disprove they are HIV+, you're as dumb as you look. Third, we don't know you to know why you're so hostile about this issue and we don't care but we can speculate it's because you're either a Rainbow yourself or you're in love with one.
In closing, David, keep up with the passion, pay more attention to your grammar, and you could be onto something.
Ps. The word you're looking for isn't "slander," but something else. We'll put that in with your grammar homework for you to find out which word you're trying to come up with. However, when you read its definition, you'll be very disappointed.

We get another post from David but this time it's under another myspace name:

Whats the fucking use. People are going to be crude ignorant thorns scraping against each other for eternity. People may be fat, or whatever, or unattractive, but that doesn't meen they have to suffer the slings and arrows from ass holes like whoever posted this. what a fucking douche!!

David,
You're right. We are assholes.

Novus2004 writes in chat:

Novus2004: nobodys going to read that blog

Papa Novus,
You're a "nobody" and you read the blog. So... you're right!

Danisnotstr8 writes in chat:

I LOVE the blog!

Dan,
We love you too, Jackie-O.

***

This just in:
The screenname American_Doll_Posse was canceled (not banned). As with any great blog, there are bound to be impersonations. A certified Code Red and a certified Code Pink/Red/Grey have teamed up (first time since being in the back of the Astrovan together) to re-register incorrectly spelled variations of the ADP name with a link to an impersonation blog. As pointed out in the opening entry, the profiles are very obvious with the new one being from Pittsburgh. There will never be another American Doll Posse name registered by the original owner of the screenname. So promptly ignore any messages received by the impostor. It should also be noted that this blog is the *only* one in our circuit that has a goat mascot and deals with homosexuals at this time. If another arises, we will post about it on here.

***

Theeman8866 is the topic for this entry. Thee is the Erie room Walmart-greeter pervert. Every room has one. You know, he's the guy who greets every hot guy that would never have anything to do with him. It's very nerve-grating, especially when he's a bona-fide fetal alcohol syndrome case:

Theeman

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

The resemblance is uncanny. Anyhow, Thee will almost never pass up the opportunity to bandwagon against two of the chatroom's most popular posters. His teammate this go around was SpankMyBootyNYC1612. We've eliminated the bots from the conversation as well as the trolls looking for sex.

(spank): you whores are the reason gay.com went to shit to begin with.
(Goat1): Now we're whores? You're the one in the Erie chat looking for phone sex. Who does that anymore?
(Thee): spank, don't pay attention to those two. they are selfless pricks who have no lives. just put them on ignore like i do. [Thee ignores no one.]
(Goat2): you don't put anyone on ignore, fat-ass.
(Goat1): Srsly.
(spank): well they're certainly not nice people.
(Thee): they never are. just ignore them.
(Goat1): Listen, Fetal Alcohol, you're the real troll here. You point out that we hang out in these rooms when you're at the bottom of the list in two rooms at any given time. You work at a bakery making $8 an hour and they'll probably be out of business from all the snacks you sneak into the restrooms to eat.
(Thee): fuck you.

The next time you pretend to have someone on ignore, it's best to ignore him. That's our best advice to you, sweathog.

Until next time...

An Opening Q&A

01. What the fuck is this blog and who is writing it?
This blog is the collaborative effort of several writers who observe the idiots on gay.com. We are pondering pertinent issues such as: Why do ugly people post pictures and then complain when they're ripped apart? Why haven't fags learned how to dress? Why hasn't a 48-year old man grasped fundamental grammar principles? ( not2good: oh. thats why everyone changes there screen names) Why are you asking for a thin, under 35, cute hookup when you're a fat, flabby, fugged-out 30-something? (Cuddleboie) Why doesn't Novus2004 get an acid-wash for the pockmarks on his face? The list goes on and on as you, Faithful Reader, will see.

02. Are you currently looking for writers to aid (AIDS!) in the writing of this blog?
Yeah, right. While you may not be able to participate in the actual blogging, you can leave comments at the end of each entry and let us know who you'd like to see mentioned in the blog for their thuper-duper chatroom antics. You can also leave comments telling us how cool we are or how ridiculous you think the blog is. It's your comment space; use it as you wish.

03. Okay. So, what's the deal with the colored-codes people keep typing in the room?
The Code System is based loosely (like some people we know) on the hospital code system. The codes should be used sparingly as to not overkill them. If you want to draw attention to a particular fag entering the chatroom, you type, "Code (insert appropriate color.)" If you have just come into the chat or just returned to the computer, you may throw out a code and then it becomes anyone's guess who the code is. Obviously, several codes can apply to a single person but it's not necessary to list them all. If someone is ugly and psycho, (codes brown and red respectively), it is only necessary to point out the red code as that is more important to be wary of than ugliness. Of course, you don't have to listen to us and you may list all the codes for everyone in the chatroom. Who knows? We might be short an idiot for an entry and your excessive coding can be material. The codes are as follows:

• Code Red: This is to alert the chat to a known psycho. LivLuvLifeErieDewd should be excluded from the red coding as everyone in the Akron, Cleveland West, Pittsburgh, Erie and Youngstown/Warren rooms already knows she's a crazy cunt.
• Code Rainbow: Someone who might potentially be infected with the HIVvy juice
  
• Code Brown: Fags so ugly it is highly-recommended that someone burlap-sack their heads
• Code Black: Black homosexuals
• Code Orange: Anyone who isn't white or black
• Code Blue: A dumb fag (No air to the brain...)
• Code Green: A gold-digging fag
• Code Yellow: Fag into kink such as piss, shit (lots of Code Yellows in the Akron room)
  
• Code Grey: A fossil (Fag who is over 40...)
• Code White: A wigger
  
• Code Pink: Child-molesting fag (See Novus2004.)
• Code Purple: Someone who doesn't brush his teeth and/or has such bad body odor that it makes you turn purple from holding your breath

04. What is "Goat!"?
The origin(s) of "Goat!" started in a small, Chinese-buffet in Meadville, PA, in a conversation between a bisexual and his heterosexual best friend. While the story isn't as funny typed out, it is important to note that, while we dislike sycophants in general, it couldn't hurt to throw out a "GOAT!" when you see several people doing so. It could be your saving grace even if you don't like the GOAT!-clan.

05. What's the deal with Moyer and Novus2004?
Back in May of 2007, Moyer fell in love with John (hybridMAVERICK). The feeling wasn't mutual as John was just after some cock. Naturally, this didn't sit well with Moyer who convinced him and the seven voices in his head that they were dating.
As Moyer's advances for love continued, so did John's very subtle let-down tactics. In October, the ugly green head showed itself, and Moyer was revealed to be a true psychopath. Between October and December, Moyer did a number of super-sane things to show just how *much* he loved John:

• Sat outside John's apartment, in the parking lot, staring for hours on end at the front door.
• Barraged John with literally hundreds of calls and text messages after it was made clear John wished nothing to do with him.
• Threw a brick through John's window when John refused to talk to him.
• Hacked John's yahoo email.
• After John got a boyfriend, Moyer made up profiles on gay.com pretending to be said boyfriend in order to get information.
• Faked a car accident to see if John cared enough to visit him in the hospital. John didn't.
• Made up more fake profiles announcing to the room that John has HIV and gave it to Moyer. (John is HIV-).
• Subsequently, Moyer came in and announced his newfound HIV+ status. Then he denounced it. Then re-announced it. Et cetera.

You get the picture.
Moyer now resides in Pittsburgh. He lives with a fossil but will tell you he lives on his own. The stalking has subsided for Moyer no longer can afford to make the commute from Pittsburgh to Erie and back due to his being fired from a good job for being a psycho. Noteworthy: All of Moyer's fake profiles emulate the same characteristics. The person is always fat (even if they aren't.) The person is always HIV+. The grammar is horrid. Let's just say, they are very obvious.
When Moyer became the Erie room scapegoat for being a certified Code Red, the only one he could turn to was the Code Pink, Novus2004. It is rumoured Novus2004 has a hideously scarred, pockmarked face in dire need of an acid wash. It is also rumoured that Novus2004 has an Astrovan where he blows young boys (18+, of course). Papa Novus would *never* violate someone under the age of 18.

06. What if I dislike this blog and decide to report you? Then what? Huh? Huh?
Blogspot is the forefront runner for advocating freedom of speech. We have several blogs hosted on blogspot, and we know the limits. The kind folks at blogspot simply send us an email if we are nearing violation and we clean it up a little bit. If your intention is to bombard us with violation emails, it won't work. The (again) kind folks at blogspot don't bother us with the death threats we get; they simply send form emails back to the whiner and allow us to go about our [ghetto] bidness. [/ghetto]

07. What if I report this blog and the name in the chatroom advertising it to gay.com? Then what? Huh? Huh?
We're scared. Really. We. are. scared.

08. Why are you guys so fucking mean? Why is this necessary? Don't you realize people have feelings?
We're not mean. We use material that is typed by you, Le Idiot, in the chatroom. If you don't want to end up here, don't type stupid shit. It isn't necessary, but it's fun. Yes, we know people have feelings and we will make every effort to ensure fairness when reporting. If you feel the reporters were too harsh on you in a post, feel free to contact them. (see question 10.)

09. How can I stay on your good side and not end up on here?
Simple. Don't be a douchebag. Just because you're ugly doesn't mean you automatically end up on here. However, if you're ugly and you think you're hot (hotjc69), you'll soon land a spot. You should also know that grammar is a major issue. Do. Not. Type. This: Well grammer isnt importnt hear becuz were not in school n noone cares. You're wrong. In a chatroom, we communicate using words. Ergo, it is necessary to strive to communicate them as efficiently and correctly as possible.
Because we're nice people, we're going to set you up with a small list of words that you should learn to spell and use correctly. Doing so will greatly land you a favourable spot on the Goat!-list. They are (grouped):

• They're, their, there.
• Were, we're, where.
• Too, to, two.
• You're, your.
• Loser, looser.
• No one. ("Noone" isn't a word.)

10. Alright, so how do I contact you guys?
We prefer you just leave a comment with the entry you are addressing. However, if you need to address something outside of an entry, you may do so by emailing us at: ThisGoatOwnsYou@aim.com . If you do not comment on an entry and instead email us when you could very well have just commented, you won't get a response.